So my mom and I have been working the same waitress job for 5-6 years now. She had been waitressing years before, but this is recently. Anyway, about… 15 minutes ago this guy she waited on left and told her to take care. Just that. Prior to this she had talked to him about Italy. Her people are from Florence, this and that, and she said she’s never been. She’s got 8 years of art education and she’s working a waitress job. It’s pretty… Sad and disappointing, I guess. Her and my father divorced 6 years ago and she hasn’t had a real job ever. Just been stuck in a small town she’s not from.
This man who we have never seen before tipped her 1000 dollars for a trip to Italy. Walked out, not another word.
I have grown accustomed to not looking people in the eye. It’s such an intense feeling, and I don’t think I’m ready to have that connection yet. Fear is what it is. I don’t want to find something I am better off without. I can’t handle seeing the disappointment on peoples faces when they see me. I feel like if you look at me, you’re suddenly in my head and you can see right through me. It makes me feel vulnerable and I don’t like it because my walls are up so high right now. I’m not sure if I’m ever going to let them down.